The Soldiers Left Behind - BlogThe Soldiers Left Behind Blog
Still a struggle after all this time....
Let me just start by saying I find myself needing to apologize once again for having waited so long to post. Perhaps that is a direct reflection of how difficult getting your life back on track truly is.
Let's see, I left off in my last post telling you all about how I was learning to wake up each day and try to move forward. I guess my first mistake was giving myself that "A" for effort. It seems that we can stop trying to live our lives and not even realize it. One day you wake up and realize that it's been almost a year since you have truly taken the time to enjoy any of the things you "used" to do, hobbies you had, things you were passionate about, etc....
My husband has been home with me now for well over a year and I feel as if I am just now waking up to my new reality and able to face it one day at a time. As in any journey I think it has to start somewhere and when I woke up on my birthday this year I decided I was going to start living again at any cost! I have a great family, a WONDERFUL husband and many great friends to help me on this exploration and if I know one thing, it's that I want to take them with me on this adventure called "life".
Please be patient with me as I attempt to pull myself up by my bootstraps and slowly join the world of the living. After all, they say the greatest of all journeys begin with only one step. If my journey involves "writing it out" then I guess my journey started today with my first word.
I worked today for 9 hours at home with nothing but my meetings and my dogs to keep me company. The sun was shining so brightly outside on the most recent batch of snow still piled up on my deck that I was inspired to leave the confines of this house. I was determined to lay my head on my pillow tonight without feeling as if I had not accomplished anything (yet again). With that in mind, I put shoes on my feet and went for a walk. It sounds so simple but when you have isolated yourself from the world for as long as I have, finishing that walk felt like I had just run a marathon.
Today it was a drive to the park where I walked the 1/4 mile track 3 times around. Although the temp was below freezing outside, the sun was shining and I had the beautiful view of the lake we live on to keep me moving forward. I thought a lot during my walk about things that had occurred during my day but tried to push those thoughts out and focus on clearing my mind and try to think about how wonderful my life truly is. I am going to be a grandmother for the first time in July and by my third trip around the track I was starting to picture myself playing with my grandchildren at the playground just a few yards away.
It was a blissful walk and even though I drove to the park to take the walk and only took 3 trips around the track, I felt great that I put in the effort! I realize that taking these walks won't resolve all of my issues but I am hoping they continue to give me peace and hope. I think in the recipe for how to create a great life these are key ingredients!
I left the park inspired to start with a new date night with the hubby so will be going out to eat and enjoy some conversation focused on us and really getting to know the new people we have become because of our recent experiences and life changes.
Lesson for the day: Just get up and move! I promise you will feel better and if you stay committed to set small goals for yourself you will start to see yourself doing more each and every day! Don't stop living your life just because you loose your way. Sometimes those bootstraps are difficult to reach but believe in yourself and you'll be pulling them up in no time!
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