The Soldiers Left Behind - BlogThe Soldiers Left Behind Blog
Facing the pain and finding the light....
Wow, what a difference 24 hours can make! Remember all that talk yesterday about my inability to choose my new lifestyle because I had not been asked to?
Well, my husband came home almost immediately following my post. He didn't want to talk about anything when he walked in the door but his own discovery that he had been reflecting on the entire day. One thing he told me is that he agrees with the fact that I have been shut out of all things military in his life. He also truly believes it was solely for the purpose of protecting me. He believed that the more he spoke of the military, the more it would hurt or upset me.
Then he said something that took me completely off guard. He told me he wants to renew our wedding vows in a full military ceremony. He had even made an important call to a very special friend of ours that is now retired but was in his unit and asked him if he would stand up for him and take on the special task of swatting his bride on the posterior (yes it's a true military tradition!).
Now let me just say, my husband promised me we would renew our vows in a military ceremony once before but that promise came when he was still overseas. In fact we both agree it was offered as a way to keep me focused on all the positive things that come with planning such an event. At the end of the deployment he returned and although we spoke of the renewal for a few weeks following his return, the thought and intent slowly slipped away and never happened.
This time I can say he is committed to making this happen and mostly because we both the true reason it is important to us and we both have new promises to make to one another. Promises that encompass the very people we have grown to be and the lifestyle we are a part of. It will not only be a renewal of our marriage, but will also be a marriage of sorts between me and the military life that I am living in.
Now with all of that being said, I know I have a ton of work to do between now and the fall when we will more than likely have this renewal. There are still many issues that I need to make peace with. Some I will work on with my husband by my side but many are a part of my own baggage. I have always said that this journey was going to be difficult and something that can and must take time to complete. I do have a new sense of purpose now. My goal is to make my new vows meaningful and commitments that I can live up to.
On a somewhat related note, I made it 5 times around the track today a personal best! I certainly had more time for reflection and the sun was shining beautifully for me as walked. This was pretty impressive since it had been raining here and the wind blowing for a large part of the day!
One thing I certainly spent time celebrating during my walk was that after all of these years my husband had finally given me the opportunity to "choose" the lifestyle I am living and invited me to join him both symbolically and by the true meaning in the vows we plan to write and commit to.
Lesson for the day: Take pleasure in any positive steps forward that you take. Celebrate the smallest of victories. Whether it be walking a little further that day or making the smallest of progress when taking on a big issue.
Wishing you happiness and light!
Until next time,
Laura D.
Hello Mr. Expert,
When are going to write up a follow up article on this post... is it going to be anytime soon?
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"We run a Lawyer Directory about Tenant Lawyer" ...
( http://www.QSLaw.com )
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Thank you for writing. If you follow my daily blogs you will discover that I am following up on this journey every day. My writings are not always seemingly specific to the impacts of deployment but believe me when I say they are all part of the bigger picture. I truly write as I discover and continue to search for answers to a very complex question about how I could have done better managing with the circumstances I was dealing with.
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