I watched "Oprah Presents Master Class" today. In a nutshell it is Oprah telling her life story and how she grew into the person she is today. I was so inspired by what she said and I could totally make the connection with everything she was saying in my own life. NOT that we have anything in common as to how we were raised and life experiences, but our philosophy about life is amazingly similar.

The show opened with Oprah saying "In this world there are a lot of things that are beyond our control. But what you have control over is how you react to what happens in your life". I have lived this very concept and believe me I have shared this with so many people over the last 10 years that it makes my head spin. However, I was failing to put that philosophy into practice in my own life. She also goes on to say "Everybody has a story and there is something to be learned by every experience". WOW, there it is again! This is my "Lesson" theory being thrown back in my face. If my "life" is a class and the deployments have been been my classroom, then the experiences during those times were the lessons embedded in my personal text book of "life" and in order to find my way, I need only to continue the homework I have been pursuing and take lots of notes along the way.

Here is the real deal, I believe that we are all here on this planet to fulfill a purpose greater than what we ourselves can wrap our heads around. However, most of us get caught up in "life" and trying to "design" our own future that we completely miss out on the lessons intended for us that are meant to teach and prepare us to follow the path that was originally laid out for us before we even got here. It's that true inner path to becoming to total person we were "meant" to be. It's the reason, I can't fathom being able to be a brain surgeon and someone else may have NO desire or passion to write, fight fires, act, or even be willing to serve their country. Yes, a bit light is hanging over my head now shining brightly! I have been trying to figure out a way to deal with my husband and his desire to serve our nation but the answer was there for me the whole time. He was literally "born" to take that path. I guess I have always suspected that was the case, but chose not to believe it in my head. When talking about knowing that you are going down the path intended for you, she said it would just feel like "home". It would feel as if you know with everything inside you that you were doing exactly what you were meant to do. I truly believe that is the case with my husband. The most simple example I can give you to illustrate this point is that every morning (when he has to go to his day job as a salesman), I have to wake him up several times before he actually drags himself out of bed. On the days when he has to serve in a military capacity, not only do I NOT have to wake him up, he is usually out of bed and getting himself ready to go before I even open my eyes. He happily gets his gear together and heads out for what turns out to be more often than not a horribly long weekend with little to no sleep, training that is exhausting and problem after problem that he has to deal with on a daily basis but the truth of the matter is, he does it eagerly because it is a part of who he is. I get that more today and for the first time look at that side of his life with not only proud thoughts, but with hope that I find the same for myself.

So when I said that we often try to "design" our own future, I was reflecting back on my life. I was married 2 times before I finally met my "soul mate" in my husband John. Mostly because I was trying so hard to fit myself into a mold that  I just didn't belong in. DON'T get me wrong. Without those marriages I would never have my 2 wonderful children and I DO NOT regret the experiences that made having them possible. I am merely trying to say that I wasn't allowing myself to follow my life path because I thought I could get through life by planning it all out on my own even though God was in total control the whole time and knew what my true mission on this planet really was. Given the fact that our life lessons are really preparing us for the people we are meant to become, I know now looking back that I had to go through the struggles in my previous marriages and go through life as a single mom who learned she could take care of herself before I would be "prepared" to meet my soul mate. My husband likes to joke with me and tell me I was a "Man hater" when we met. That may have been how he saw things but the truth is, I was truly enjoying my new found independence and the knowledge that I no longer "needed" a man to be happy. Then and only then did I meet and fall in love with him. I just had to go through a log of pain to learn the lessons necessary to keep me on that path.

I also know that even the most difficult challenges caused by my husband's deployment were "meant" as lessons to help me grow and keep me on the path to becoming the person I am supposed to be. I just need to take plenty of notes through my search for these lessons so I can learn them and take my next intended steps.  I don't have any expectations about what that path might be but I do know I have had a few of those feeling at "home" experiences.

One was at the recording studio when I recorded my song "They Believe" and the second perhaps most profound "at home" feeling came to me when I was sharing my lessons learned from the first deployment to a group of military wives. This surprised me then and still amazes me because all through my youth I was so painfully shy that I did NOT like to talk to strangers (even the clerk at the grocery store) and the few times I tried to speak even with my friends in a relaxed social setting I NEVER felt that anyone really cared enough about what I was saying enough to listen so I eventually turned inward and stopped trying to say anything. Divine intervention stepped in and pulled me out of that shell when I was about 20 years old. Ever since then, it has felt that people actually listen when I speak (other than when my husband has "Selective hearing") and my time in front of those military wives was so comfortable for me it's hard to explain. It was as if during that time they were soaking in every word I said like a sponge. I made them laugh, I related to them on their own level (because I certainly don't feel I am anyone special or above them). I think about my first such discussion a lot and have wondered ever since then if this type of inspirational speaking is something that is on my path. I enjoy it, feel a strong sense of responsibility for what I say and more than anything feel grateful for being able to pass along things I have learned in the event that it may help someone else.

Wow that's a lot for today and I will surely pick up this topic again tomorrow. So much to think about!

Lesson for today: The only person standing in your way is YOU. I learned that you can be anything in life that you feel driven to do. You just need to believe in yourself and ALWAYS check your gut to see how you feel about what you are doing. Life is just too short not to be doing something you love!

Wishing you Hope, Happiness and Light!

Until next time,

Laura D.