I have learned so much about why I went through the roller coaster of emotions that I did during the second deployment and have started to really come to grips with where my negative feelings truly came from in regards to my husband's job in the military.

What I know today is that these have truly been the trials that I was intended to go through to make me a better person. It inspires me to write out these thoughts and ask myself the really tough questions so I can learn by my mistakes. I'm still learning every day but I am starting to feel more and more removed from being that person that completely shut down and closer to being the person I am the most "at home" being. The person who not only has learned about the "life lesson" but am eager to share if it only helps one person who can relate in some way to the challenges I have faced and overcome in my lifetime. 

A really wise person once said, "those who learn, must teach". These days I feel that is closer to my true passion and perhaps direction in life. whether it leads me to be some sort of life coach or public speaker, I am excited as I soak up all of this knowledge and find out where that road may take me. I know I am going to listen to the "whispers" for sure but also not just sit and wait for them. If I find anything in my life that "inspires" me to learn more about, I will pursue it with all I have. I spent my whole young life "learning" in the brick and mortar classroom but they weren't the life lessons I seek today.

I think there are always questions to be asked and I believe for myself, the day I stop wanting to learn more, will be the day I shut down and stop truly living my life. 

For me, the self awareness that has come from the life lessons learned resulting from my husbands deployments have made my marriage better, help me to WANT to get my independence back and learn that I am my own person and not tied to being just one member of the "couple" with my husband and I. I want to have my own identity and things that I can care about in life as passionately as he does the military. More than anything, it's almost as if I have literally opened the doors of a huge library and am eager to hit the books running. I want to learn with an open mind and eager spirit. The one thing I will say is that it just feels great to feel like I am really "living" a life that has meaning now. This has perhaps been the best gift because for well over a year I woke up every morning wondering why I was still on this planet and what could possibly be so important that I stay in the game. 

Lesson learned today: We are never too old to stop learning in life. I learned that I never want to wake up one day without curiosity in my life. 

Wishing you happiness and light!

Until Next Time,

Laura D.