It's been a great weekend so far but I have a week ahead of me that will be full of moments that I know I will need to create for myself or work through.

It's been a few weeks since my husband came home to tell me there was a class that would take him away for about a week. It's funny how things like this tend to stay in the depths of your mind until you are truly forced to deal with them. So I guess all of the really hard work I have been doing over the last few months will truly be tested by this week long separation. I can't help but wonder if I am ready. I guess this is "where the rubber hits the road" so to speak. I know I don't have an immediate anxiety about it but it is only Sunday and he leaves tomorrow evening. It's time for me to start looking back on all my documented "lessons" and truly tap into what I have learned and live up to my own expectations for myself. I know it won't be a perfect journey but I am more curious than I am scared about how this week of separation will go. 

I have the added challenge of not being able to take those oh so cleansing walks due to my foot injury. I no longer have to wear the ugly boot though so I do have the ability to get myself out into the world and see what it feels like to take back some more of my independence. 

I will surely miss him while he is away. After all, he is my rock and my everything. BUT I am still determined to define my own identity beyond being his wife and with that I let him go, wish him a safe journey, hope he learns a great deal while he is away and send with him all my love.

Perhaps it will take getting myself connected with some great reading material by some great teachers to help inspire me along the way. My main goal is to come out the other side of this week feeling just a little stronger and not so co-dependent. It's funny because I haven't always been that way and I couldn't tell you at what moment that it all changed for me but here I am.... 

If the last few months have taught me anything, it has been that I am starting to come to terms with my husband's life's work and I respect it. Am I jealous sometimes? Sure, I don't think I would be human if I wasn't. The key is to not let those negative feelings ripple out into his world and force him to ever question what he is doing because of me. I'm still going to be brutally honest with him in our heart to heart discussions, but I'm going to make every attempt to keep my emotional baggage in check when we talk about his absence impacts not only me, but our family unit. 

At the end of the day, it's because of his passion towards this life's work that we are able to prepare for him to receive a very special and unique award in a military ceremony the week he returns from his school. I have to say I for one could not be any more proud of him and the fact that his family is coming in from across the state speaks to the fact that I am not alone. He has done many things well in his military career and "people took notice". 

Lesson for the day: I would just say that my desire to make a decision to stay grounded in my learning is a big one!

Well, time to finish preparations for Sunday Dinner!

Wishing you Happiness, Love and Light!

Until next time,

Laura D.