Having said that, I think that through my searching for answers I have learned many things about myself and more importantly how I can respond better in the future when tough times come my way. I know first hand how easy it is to become completely overwhelmed by your circumstances when you are "in that moment" but I also know that if you can find a way to remember to search for the light of hope that surrounds us all, you can fight your way out of the darkness.

I find myself thinking a lot about how I was feeling when I started this journey. I was feeling like my life was just passing me by and that my efforts to truly "live" were just a memory. Although it has seemed like a long journey and one I know I am still on, I can truly say I am starting to really find myself again. I have peace about so much now. I have reconciled my emotions from my husbands 2nd deployment and took away some valuable lessons. 

I learned that my life does have a purpose and that I am strong enough to endure difficult times. I learned I can have discipline in my life (walking and writing every day was the start) and even though I have been writing somewhat less often, I am still learning. In fact, I am more than learning, I am "living" and starting to really enjoy myself again. Even through times of sadness, I find I am able to shake it off and search for the intended lesson.

I can't say enough about how much healing that comes to you when you find that "lesson". It's as if a light bulb goes off over your head and you finally understand and can come to terms with what you experienced. 

Just finding my way through these last few months has changed not only my outlook on life but it got me moving with purpose again. Sure I still have physical issues that keep that movement somewhat limited but I no longer see it as a negative. I am using those limitations to learn how to manage daily life on my own terms. I am tuning into what my body is telling me about pain and when to stop so I don't aggravate my situation. It may slow me down on one day but if I pay close attention to the signals, I can easily get back up and move again the next. 

Most importantly, I have rediscovered hope. I have been helping a loved one struggling with depression for months now. I have been praying for and talking to him on a daily basis as each situation in life has seemed impossible to manage. Over time, we got him the help he needed and I see now (even though he still struggles at times) that things are getting better. Daily phone calls have turned into a few calls a week and totally negative conversations have developed into some that are quite positive. It's difficult to walk through these challenges with a loved one, especially when you have walked a mile in their shoes and know to some degree how they are feeling. But through all of this, I always had hope and continued to share a message of hope with him. Even though this has been a trying time for both of us, I can honestly say I believe there were many lessons that have come out of it. I learned patience and how to be compassionate when frustrated. I learned I need to trust in God and that if I prayed for help, I needed to have faith that he was going to provide that help. I also learned I needed to remember to always be thankful even for the small wins. 

It seems as if I am starting a new chapter in my life and perhaps being prepared for an even bigger battle downstream. However, I know if I keep filling my toolbox up with my lessons, I will come through the other side just fine.

Lesson for the day: I learned I should never loose faith, sometimes that's all we have to keep us going. I also learned that I am getting my "happy" back. One slow step at a time, I am finding my way!

Wishing you Happiness and Light!

Until Next Time,

Laura D.