The Soldiers Left Behind - BlogThe Soldiers Left Behind Blog
My life....The new chapter....
Ok posting again 2 times in one day! I wanted to separate this post so my thoughts are clear and don't get lost by having them in the "catch up" post.
So while I am here with my daughter I have been doing a few things. First of all I picked up a new book by Bethany Frankel called "A Place of Yes". Bethany is a New York Times Best Selling author, starred in The Real Housewives of New York, Bethany Getting Married, and Bethany Ever After. She invented a drink called The Skinny Girl Margarita, has been a chef for celebs and it turns out is a HUGE inspiration and has quite a story.
Bethany came from a childhood that was challenging, lonely and not close to her parents for many reasons I won't go into here. Here's the thing, I could totally relate to her story because she had was she calls "childhood noise" which is a clever way to identify the baggage remaining from her childhood that has caused her to make certain life decisions, some good, some not so good.
So in a nut shell what Bethany suggests is that we all have two things going on in ourselves. We have "noise" which is associated to experiences in our lifetime (good, bad or indifferent) It's like the person who watches her parents argue all the time as a child and when old enough to seek a relationship herself is attracted to the same sort of relationship. Or someone who lived in a household where money was always scarce may grow up with "Money noise" where they are always consumed with ensuring they can take care of themselves. There is also what Bethany refers to as "voices". These are thoughts that push us forward "coming from a place of yes" that help to guide us in our lives. Helping us to break the cycle of previously learned or practiced behavior and or just plain learn from what we lived through and make a decision not to repeat the sins of our childhood.
Bethany's story was inspiring to me because she talks about being able to identify your own "noise" and learn to take away the lessons and leave the pain behind. She refers to this as "take it or leave it". Over the last few months I have been dealing with my own noise. The "Separation noise", "Childhood noise", "Relationship noise", I think I hit all the main issues. I've even had "money noise". What I am starting to understand now is that my "learning from the lesson" mentality is truly a great way to live your life. It's not always easy but I have found that so many people are saying the same thing I have realized only recently, they just call it something else. What I didn't consider was that I could actually look back on those times and decide to keep the part of the "noise" that adds value to my life and just leave the rest behind. To honestly forgive people who have negatively impacted your life, you need to truly let go of the pain and hold the "lesson" close to your heart so that you don't create that "noise" for someone else and can continue to learn from it.
We may get lost at times and let the pain find it's way back in but if we have that lesson close to our hearts it's easier to remember we can let go of the pain and keep on moving. I am still working on connecting with my inner "voice" but if I can clear out some of the "noise" I just might hear it soon!
Lesson for today: You don't have to let go of an entire experience that may have been challenging. You can decide what to hold close to you and what to let go of. This way you let go of what may be causing internal pain and hold on to the pieces that teach you.
Wishing you all hope, happiness and peace!
Until next time,
Laura D.
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