I think that is the missing part of all my recent discovery. I need to get to know myself. My REAL self. The person that is open to hearing her inner voice that provides that critical direction, is in touch with her inner spirit and can honestly say I love myself. I'm starting to understand that you can't truly love, relate to and appreciate others for who they are until you understand what makes you the person you are and learn to love that person (you) first.

On Oprah Winfrey's last show she talked about how some of us need validation in our lives to tell us that we are good enough. For my entire life I have been "that" person. It's been the elusive validation that drove me to make choices that were not the best and at times caused me self inflicted pain by the mere fact that I didn't feel worthy. I needed to know that my voice was worth listening to because I have something to say and offer others that I feel add value. Not only did I "need" people to love me, I needed them to tell me why (again need for validation I was worthy). I think the pieces are starting to come together for me slowly but surely and I am picking up so many tools to help me get to this place of inner peace. I guess for me I just needed to want to search for it. I needed to know in my spirit that I worth loving and being the best "me" I could be. 

I have discovered so many things about myself and perhaps just knowing I need to learn to truly love myself is the most valuable lesson so far. I'm a loving person, always strive to have a servant's heart, want to teach others always and help others to learn to live their lives with purpose and a better understanding of "self".  I find myself at peace the most when I feel as if I am inspiring others by coaching them to push beyond the wildest dreams they could ever imagine and learn to take every challenge they come across along the way and turn them into the lessons and part of the journey that help them achieve things in their lives they would never have imagined. 

See I understand and believe in my very soul in all that I write. It's my own journey to take the lessons I am learning every day, with every moment of self reflection and start to truly apply them to my own life. I honestly feel as if I am changing. It's a subtle change day to day but I know in my heart it's there, it's really happening. 

After I fell apart when my husband deployed the 2nd time, I felt I had no business standing in front of military wives trying to encourage them to keep moving forward while I was riding my own personal roller coaster I just wanted to jump off of. I know now that I can stand in front of those women and take them on the journey with me instead of being tour guide through life, I can walk each step with them. I feel as if I can be humble enough to admit I don't know all the answers, perhaps not only can I encourage others, more than likely I will learn from them as well.

Kind of deep for a Saturday morning but I'm just going with the flow. I write as I "feel". "Writing it out" is healing for me and believe it or not is actually a learning experience for me. As I write I discover my inspiration, find answers I seek and keep myself moving forward. Sometimes it's as short as a few paragraphs and on other days it seems like more of a book but the important part is that it truly "ME". No filters, just my thoughts, my emotions and my discoveries. Sure it's open for the world to read and hey if someone gets even a little bit of knowledge or can relate in some way to my journey and it helps them in even the smallest way, I know it's been worth taking the journey.

Lesson for today: I think we all have to start somewhere and truly take the time for self reflection. Clear out the "noise" in your head that has impacted your life and learn to tune into the voices that guide you and help you to see the person you truly are. Try to make a connection even if only in a small way every day. Learn to ask yourself even the toughest questions about how your life has gone, how you want it to go and more importantly what have you learned along the way that can guide you through your future.

Wishing you hope, happiness and light!

Until Next Time,

Laura D.