As I walked my first 1/4 mile I was finally able to connect to something that had been bothering me for years. Let me start by saying, I am married to a wonderful man and my love for him has no limits. However, for many years I have always felt that I was living in his shadow and that somehow he was dulling my shine because of all the great qualities that naturally draw people to respect him. 

Today I started to focus on why I felt that way and realized one very important thing. He could never dull my shine (nor would he ever want to). The only person who has the capability to do that is me. I am the person who has the ultimate power over my own self perception and over the years have been dimming my own light and much worse, somewhat blaming my husband's greatness. It really sounds ridiculous writing it out and actually looking at the words but sadly it's true.

My self reflection has helped me to see that I need to build my self esteem, climb out from behind the imaginary shadows in my head and find my light. You see the difference between me and my husband is that he has all the self confidence in the world. He believes in himself and doesn't feel the need for others to tell him he's a good man because he is true to himself and has the confidence to stand in his truth. Although I have been really working on myself over the last several years, it occurs to me that I am still lacking in the self esteem needed to believe in myself in the same way.

In the future my husband will be making major life changes that will put him in the spotlight. Knowing that makes me understand that I need to fight to keep my own light shining brightly an not allow myself to get lost in a world that revolves around him. Don't get me wrong, I love him and support everything he does. I will stand by his side and be his strongest supporter. What I'm talking about is not compromising my own dreams while he lives his. Finding my light will continue to be a challenge but if I stay on the path of self reflection and growth, I have every reason to believe I will be able to keep my eyes on my own destiny and keep moving.

Well it's date night and time to get myself ready to have dinner with my hubby.

Lesson for today: I learned that I have to be careful not to blame others for perceptions I create for and about myself. 

Wishing you happiness and light!

Until next time,

Laura D.