The Soldiers Left Behind Blog

Inspiration when we least expect it....

2012-02-24T21:00:37Z

So it's been a great day! It started by reading a note from my manager that truly inspired me. She often sends out tips sharing thought provoking writings from different authors. Today she sent a note telling us she would be sending what she called "Making Monday Meaningful" notes out each week. Today's note went out a little early given it's Friday but is was merely these words...."Quality is not an act. It is a habit." Aristotle

If you think about that lone statement it can speak volumes to how we live our lives. What comes to the top of my list in relationship to this is concentrating on my health and making time for self awareness and improvement. I have written of my struggle to put on my shoes to take that walk or even taking time to sit and write. Well, the fact of the matter for me is that if I don't take these steps seriously and stay on this journey, My quality of life will not become a habit and any changes I make can end up being short lived. I need to stay true to my quest for self improvement and turn these changes into habits that shape the improved version of me for the long haul.

Here I go again, finding myself surrounded by "inspiration". These days it feels like I am be hit repeatedly over the head with it but with each blow, instead of pain I received yet another confirmation of what I want to do with my life. It feels great to be in a constant state of awareness of my future possibilities. I ma not know the specifics but I finally feel like I have direction now and that will carry me on my journey.

Wishing you Happiness and Light!

Until next time,

Laura D.

Staying nimble enough to follow the right and left turns our lives may take

2012-02-24T00:23:44Z

As much of a "Control Freak" that I am, I have recently come to realize that my very future will depend on my ability to be flexible and adapt to the various paths my life may take in the future.

I am a control freak who loves change but loves to be in control of that change. It may be hard to understand (believe me, I'm still working on figuring it all out) but the bottom line is I need to be more flexible when life brings the unexpected change.

In thinking about my husbands potential in the future, I realize that if he follows his dream I will be forced to leave my job. This could be years away but I always figured I would retire where I am and figure out what wonderful things I want to do with my life in retirement. Now I am facing the very real possibility of needing to make a change much sooner than I had planned. Like I have said before, "We plan and God laughs!" Ultimately I have come to realize that it's all part of the journey.

Today I though a lot about this potential for change in my future and realized that it may be just a blessing. It may be that "window" of opportunity that opens allowing me to follow my own dreams by tuning in to what I really want to do in life that will make me happy. Now I am faced with the challenge of focusing in on what that is. I feel energized about that and look forward to facing my true potential and excited to think about where this upcoming journey may take me! I decided that my first step is to get back to serious focus on writing my 2nd book and pour my energy into that process. It's going to be a great learning for me!

Lesson for the day: Be flexible in life because you never know what opportunities may be just around a corner and if you stay safe in your comfort zone, you may miss out.

Wishing you happiness and light!

Until next time,

Laura D.

Coming out from the shadows and finding your own light

2012-02-22T23:05:38Z

It was easy getting my shoes on today but took some time to focus my thoughts. There has been so much happening in my life lately that I really didn't know where to start.

As I walked my first 1/4 mile I was finally able to connect to something that had been bothering me for years. Let me start by saying, I am married to a wonderful man and my love for him has no limits. However, for many years I have always felt that I was living in his shadow and that somehow he was dulling my shine because of all the great qualities that naturally draw people to respect him.

Today I started to focus on why I felt that way and realized one very important thing. He could never dull my shine (nor would he ever want to). The only person who has the capability to do that is me. I am the person who has the ultimate power over my own self perception and over the years have been dimming my own light and much worse, somewhat blaming my husband's greatness. It really sounds ridiculous writing it out and actually looking at the words but sadly it's true.

My self reflection has helped me to see that I need to build my self esteem, climb out from behind the imaginary shadows in my head and find my light. You see the difference between me and my husband is that he has all the self confidence in the world. He believes in himself and doesn't feel the need for others to tell him he's a good man because he is true to himself and has the confidence to stand in his truth. Although I have been really working on myself over the last several years, it occurs to me that I am still lacking in the self esteem needed to believe in myself in the same way.

In the future my husband will be making major life changes that will put him in the spotlight. Knowing that makes me understand that I need to fight to keep my own light shining brightly an not allow myself to get lost in a world that revolves around him. Don't get me wrong, I love him and support everything he does. I will stand by his side and be his strongest supporter. What I'm talking about is not compromising my own dreams while he lives his. Finding my light will continue to be a challenge but if I stay on the path of self reflection and growth, I have every reason to believe I will be able to keep my eyes on my own destiny and keep moving.

Well it's date night and time to get myself ready to have dinner with my hubby.

Lesson for today: I learned that I have to be careful not to blame others for perceptions I create for and about myself.

Wishing you happiness and light!

Until next time,

Laura D.

Inspiration as way of life....

2012-02-21T00:00:58Z

I have been thinking for several days about how I can incorporate inspiration into my goals for the future and more importantly, my immediate goals.

If you aspire to "Inspire", how does one go about doing that? Well I think I discovered the answer to that question while being away with my husband on a weekend getaway. I had been thinking that I would need to tap into resources in books, check into communication classes and research how people who have built their lives around their superior abilities to inspire others. While most of that will be very helpful and certainly help to hone my skills, the truth is sometimes our ability to inspire or be inspired by others just happens. When it does, it is glorious!

It all started at the spa.....

I walked in as the "9:00 appointment" for the day at the spa we were staying at and walked out with my spirit soaring and it wasn't the haircut!

There was an immediate bond with my stylist that day. Within the first 5 minutes we discovered we had many personal traits in common and we felt and chatted during my hour long appointment as if we had been the best of friends for many years. We shared stories about our families, life experiences and I spoke of my journey that started when I wrote and recorded my song "They Believe" and also spoke of the process I went through when I wrote "The Soldiers Left Behind". She was such a great listener and I was thrilled to share with her the message that was intended behind both. I wasn't sharing this information like a laundry list of things I have accomplished in my life. I was just so energized to share my message with someone that had a genuine interest.

As we were finishing up with my new hair style and our discussion, she looked at me and said "you know I have to tell you that we have another thing in common" I could see in her eyes and sensed almost immediately what she was thinking. I then asked her "are you a writer too?" getting more excited. She said that she was and that not only was she writing a book, she was working on a screenplay for a movie. I was instantly inspired by her excitement and she looked at me and said "you have inspired me to keep writing". Those words shook my spirit to the core and I found myself in a state of bliss that was difficult to contain! I encouraged her to share more of writings and was even more excited. I insisted that she needed to keep writing because her ideas where really good. I hated that our time needed to come to an end but my appointment was over and I knew she was busy. As we started to say our goodbyes, she looked at me and said "I wish you lived closer, I would just love to grab a cup of coffee with you and just hang out". I told her I would be thrilled if we could stay in touch and if she would write down her full name so I could keep an eye open for her book. She went above and beyond and actually gave me her phone number and asked me to be sure that I keep in touch!

Walking out of the spa that day I felt as if my spirit was barely being contained in my body. I felt it was literally soaring by such a positive experience! So you see, sometimes the best of inspiration is given and received when we least expect it. She expressed that I inspired her but truth be to tell, I was equally inspired and thrilled to make such a special spiritual connection with a complete stranger.

As I took my walk today I realized that it would serve humanity well for us to find a way to inspire, encourage, or just share a kindness with even those we don't know. Afterall, looking back on the days immediately following 9/11, I was witness to several encounters when complete strangers would just look in the eyes of people standing near them at the grocery store, work, anywhere in public and would just have this "knowing" and genuine concern for their fellow man. We lifted each other up, comforted one another and happily supported one another without complaint, question or hesitation. It occurs to me now that we need to challenge ourselves not to wait for the next crisis to come together, but to show this type of humanity as a daily practice.

I know this won't resolve the whole "world peace" issue but it sure would be a great first step!

Lesson for the day: Inspiration can be an equal blessing for both the person giving and receiving..

Wishing you Love, Happiness and Light!

Until next time,

Laura D.

I walked through the mist and realized the answer was there the whole time....

2012-02-16T23:11:51Z

Wow today was a powerful day of thought and I almost allowed myself to miss it!

I looked at the rain coming down in sheets earlier today and almost talked myself right out of taking my walk after work. Funny thing is that when we plan God laughs....

By the time I finished work for the day I made my way to the window to see if I could still call off my walk due to the pouring down rain. Low and behold the rain had stopped! Now the sky wasn't blue and it was still "misting" like it does here but no rain. At that point I no longer had my excuse so I drug myself to the closet, pulled out my shoes and headed out to pound the pavement.

At first I struggled with where I should begin with my thoughts and one word popped into my head that changed everything "Inspire".

Let me just say the word inspire has been resonating with me for many years. Back when I was starting to enter into a part of my life when I would need to give presentations at work in front of large audiences and had started to speak to other military wives on the topic of facing deployment, a good friend gave me a rubbing stone. It's a small little rock basically, smooth on both sides. On this rock the word "Inspire" was inscribed. My spirit immediately responded to the significance of that word and I held that rubbing stone in my hands every time I spoke to large crowds of people. It was a constant reminder of my purpose for that day in that moment.

When I thought about what "inspire" would have to do with how I want to improve my self image I realized that it was a direct connection with both a goal I set for myself in the near future and one of those I would consider "way out there". I have a servants heart and although I loose sight of my own strengths sometimes, the time I feel most "alive" in my spirit is when I can inspire others. Once I allowed myself to journey down that path I started to apply it to what it could mean for me and the direction I would love to see my life take.

I have a short term goal to improve my communication skills. I want to be the type of communicator that leaves her audience with a deep connection to the message and not a focus on me as the presenter. I have no aspirations to be hugely famous for being a great public speaker. I would much rather have audiences walk away from any speaking engagement more focused on the message itself. I would love to be the vehicle to bring that clarity to others without being some "figure head" that just stands up and talks at you. Kind of like that wizard behind the curtain....

So coming to terms with these thoughts led me down a path of starting to focus in on how I can develop my communication skills and really use them to make a difference by inspiring others. I feel we were all blessed with one gift or another in this life that allows us to follow the path intended for us. I'm no different. Some people have been blessed with melodic tones that inspire your spirit through song, others are blessed with the amazing ability to reach people through the written word and so forth... I feel I was blessed with the ability to see life a little differently than others. I feel my purpose is tied to this gift. The gift of being able to help people move beyond their own adversities, come to terms with them, learn by them and grow because of them. I have a deep passion to inspire others to recognize things about themselves that they could not see, realize they are never too old to pursuit their dreams and to know deep down that even when they fall, they can always get back up.

I'm not sure what will come next for me but it feels so good to finally see what was in front of me for many years. I want to be the vehicle to bring my message of inspiration to others. I'm not quite sure how yet. I have so much work to continue with when it comes to improving my communication skills and building up my self esteem but I finally feel like I have something to aim for!

My Lesson for Today: I learned that we should keep our eye on the prize and stop playing these silly games with ourselves that have potential to keep us from learning our life lessons (for me the rain today). I also learned that when I met my commitment to put on my walking shoes, I was blessed with answers I have been searching so long for and it paid HUGE dividends today!

Well I am off to pack for a surprise get away thanks to my wonderful husband!

Wishing you all passion in all that you do, happiness and light!

Until next time,

Laura D.

Diving back in the deep end....

2012-02-16T00:13:09Z

It's been so long since my last post. I know I broke a promise I made to myself to write every day and although life has knocked me off balance for quite a while, I am back. This time with a new commitment and new goals!

I have been out of the walking game for so long that I had forgotten how good it truly feels to get my shoes on, hit the pavement and get a good walk under my belt. I realized today how much time I have missed getting to know myself better. I also realized that once I started to reflect and finally come to terms with my deployment issues that I wasn't done with the work.

The thought came to me early on my journey today. I can't simply stop working on myself because I resolved one issue. I need to work every day to learn my intended lessons. Afterall, if we ever stop learning we cease to grow and I believe that learning and growth is the reason we are here.

My lesson today was key to taking yet another deep dive into my life and searching for answers to questions that have been haunting me and holding me back for the last few years and some for much of my life.

I started to change my life 5 weeks ago and decided to take on the challenge of loosing the extra weight I gained while living a sedentary life. During this process I am teaming with a girlfriend who is taking on these challenges herself. While we were having our weekly meeting today to talk about how the week was going we both decided to actually schedule time to be dedicated to us and our journey for self improvement.

Thinking about that made me question what it is that truly makes me happy about me and the person I am. I realized during my walk today that it really boils down into three groups:

What makes me happy about the person I am today?
What would make me happier about the person I am that can be achieved by setting goals and sticking with them?

And last but most important:

What is something I consider really out of reach that I feel in my soul would make me happy

When addressing the first question I found that the list was fairly short. I am happy about who I am because even though sometimes I forget to, I try to think about things to improve and try to see negative life experiences as lessons. I am a giving person, I enjoy my family and my friends and I know my actions are almost always driven by a lot of passion.

Addressing the next question really turned into a laundry list of short and long term goals for myself. Not for those around me. I am specifically talking about self improvement. I spent a nice bit of time thinking about what things in my life I can change or aspire to change in the near future that would make me feel better about me.

I truly believe that the way the world sees us is absolutely driven by how we view ourselves first and foremost. I know I have spent too much time focusing on what others think of me and haven't given what I think of myself a moments thought. The truth is, instead of creating my own truth and coming to acceptance of myself (warts and all), I was letting myself be defined by what others thought of me. The fact is, we should never let other people, our own shortcomings or struggles define who we are as people. When we decide to get real with ourselves and let our true light shine, others will see the truth in us as well. Yeah that was a little deep but I was really stuck working on this thought today. It's just so true for me personally. I let my failures and limitations define who I am for so long that eventually I just turned that role into a lifestyle. Deep down I guess the fact that I eventually get back to the work of self improvement shows that isn't the real me. It is merely the "me" I was reflecting to the world.

Well it's time to get serious about making real change and I'm truly looking forward to the journey.

The third question: What is something I consider really out of reach that I feel in my soul would make me happy?

This is the question that will help guide me through life. I try to encourage my children to dream big and that nothing should be out of reach if they want to pursuit it. The fact is I believe regardless of our age we can do anything we set our minds to. If we limit our lives to a perfect little box we consider our "comfort zone", we may miss the right and left turns our lives may take that could lead to bigger and better opportunities for us to learn or excel. If we know what our passions are (no matter how out of reach they may seem) and we stay open to change, we are bound to be surprised where life takes us. Sounds like an exciting ride to me!

Well, laundry and dishes are calling so I will sign off today.

Lesson of the day: Learn to love yourself and stay true to the person you really are. People will always appreciate that about you.

Wishing you happiness and light!

Laura D.

Now on Facebook! Updates for "Down the rabbit hole and back"

2011-09-25T03:41:57Z

Greetings all! The Soldier's Left Behind is now on Facebook at:

www.facebook.com/pages/The-Soldiers-Left-Behind-Laura-DiPrete/119952751440728

Please join me on facebook for insight, suggested topics and content previews for my second project following "The Soldier's Left Behind" (still untitled) but focused on my journey "Down the rabbit hole and back"

Wishing you happiness and light!

Laura D.

"Childhood Noise"

2011-06-02T01:43:15Z

Well here I am continuing this process of self discovery in an effort to get to know the "real" me. So I talked a lot about my upbringing last time as it related to my relationship with my parents. Now I think I need to dig a little into what is perhaps the most painful "childhood noise" that I have.

Growing up I was always a chubby kid and often looked like a boy. That was me on the outside but on the inside I always felt like I wanted to be the more slender girl with beautiful hair who looked more feminine. Once I reached 11 or so I started to really dislike the person that I looked like on the outside and in turn started the process of turning that inward to a place of self-loathing. People often made fun of me as I was in the latter years of grade school because I just didn't fit in but somehow even though I didn't think very much of myself, I felt a kinship with those around me that were in the same boat as me. The outcast. These were the people that always ate lunch alone, had the same people constantly making fun of them and quite often would be clearly left out of games and activities with the "cool" kids during recess. These were my friends back in those days. I figured that just because they were different (or they were seen by the bullies as being different), didn't mean that they didn't have feelings and need friends just like I did. Funny thing is, even now when I ask others (some of the cool people) about what my nerdy friends were up to, it seems as if they have been long since forgotten including by me.

By the time I reached 6th grade, I made friends with a "new girl" that was very pretty but for some reason everyone was picking on her. She had changed schools a lot and I decided that if nobody else was going to treat her kindly, I was going to try to be her friend. We ended up being friends long into adult hood and she actually changed my life in ways I didn't expect.

I learned over the summer between 6th and 7th grade how to wear makeup, do my hair and what type of clothes were in style. By the time I started middle school I had also slimmed down and was finally starting to look and feel great about myself. Better yet, I was starting school with my new best friends and I finally thought I had a great chance to be popular or at least fit into my surroundings and not get picked on. Little did I know I was entering a year that would change the person I was for a very long time.

Let me just start by saying for a young girl, middle school can be brutal. The bullies in middle school seemed to be on steroids compared to what I thought was going on in grade school. Although I had gotten my act together on the outside, nothing prepared me for what I faced when I walked through the halls of school each day. The girls were so mean and it was not just about what you looked like on the outside that mattered, it was all about gossip. Worse yet, my new best friend that I had taken under my own wings when she felt out of place, had engaged with the mean girls and our relationship was a roller coaster of being friends then enemies at the drop of a hat and I never knew when it was going to slap me in the face. What I did know is that when our relationship went south, I was always left to fend for myself through the gossip and horrible things that were said about me (99% untrue but good gossip). Needless to say my self esteem took a major dive and I started to turn inward for a while and gravitated towards people who were such bad influences just so I could feel I fit in somewhere. My parents could have done nothing to really help me weather those stormy days. I was truly on my own to find my way through each day and try to find a reason not to cry myself to sleep each night. It all changed drastically one day when a large group of girls (30-40 aprox), cornered me in the girls locker room totally intending to give me a good beat down because of some horrible piece of gossip that not only was untrue but when I finally heard what it was I was "supposed" to have said, a complete shock to me. I was saved by the gym teacher, ran out of the school that day and never looked back.

My mom worked hard to make sure I was getting the school I needed by putting me in a school for people like me who didn't seem to fit in and I actually excelled but by that time my self-esteem was in the tank. Worst of all, it made me so fearful of other people that I kept my circle of friends close and those I did associate with during that time seemed to be a horrible influence. By the time I met my first husband when we were both still in high school, I had turned my focus back to my studies but I truly believe the scars from my middle school years were what continued to haunt me well into adulthood and sometimes continue to surface. Bethany often says "it's not always about, what it's about" and by that she means that issues from your past may very well be the things that influence experiences in your future. I guess the key is in recognizing it. This is a chain I would very much love to break!

I do have more self confidence but still search for constant validation, am sometimes timid around new people, don't like crowds and am quite frequently full of self-doubt.

I have reached far outside of my comfort zone to try new things and live life more fully and have learned to live more comfortably in my own skin but I still feel like the puzzle of "who I am" is still missing pieces. I guess that's why I continue to search and why I know it's important to look back at the bad stuff in order to leave behind the horror and take away only the lessons.

Lesson for the day: I have a more clear picture now of how and when my "childhood noise" started. I learned it has nothing to do with my parents and how I was raised and I also learned that it can improve if I "choose" it. Looking back on the last 10-15 years I have been choosing to make it better and gained some of what I know is tied to the person I really am. I believe we all have this capability, we only need to recognize where our issues honestly started, accept them, make a decision to change things and then get about the business of making the changes.

Wishing you Hope, Happiness and Light!

Until next time,

Laura D.

Part 1 to "knowing thyself"

2011-05-30T04:16:21Z

Well I guess it's been good for me being away from my home taking care of my daughter. It's certainly given me more time to think and reflect on what I am doing for her, my grand child and myself. It's not always been the easiest task but it seems I am reminded daily how much I am needed. The funny thing is, I don't need her to validate my feelings of being needed or wanted. It's just the look in her eyes and the years of knowing how to read her body language that tell me she appreciates me being here to help.

My husband arrived yesterday for a weekend visit and he was a little out of sorts because of a lack of sleep and a long journey to get here. The funny thing is, as soon as he showed up I went immediately back into my insecure needs for validation that he was happy to be here with me. I knew he was tired but somehow I couldn't help but continuously ask him if he was ok and even let him know it didn't seem like he was happy to see me. I swear this getting to know yourself and learning to be happy with who you are, stop seeking the validation from others and the overwhelming need to make sure I am being appreciated is so much more difficult than just "writing it out".

I guess the truth of the matter is that for me I will need to take baby steps and stop setting expectations for myself that I am unable to meet. After all "Rome wasn't built in a day" as they say....

So I think I need to focus on looking even closer into my soul and search for the person that I think I am, figure out the person I know in my spirit I want to be and figure out how to close the gap and learn that I have the power to be that person.

I think what may be helpful to me is to start with the childhood "noise" that always seems to drag me out of a place of confidence and the power to believe in who I am and what I want to become.

I would never want to complain too much about my family life because in looking at the big picture, I had it pretty good. I could have received more encouragement to reach for my dreams and been told that I could do anything I set my mind to more often but I won't put all the blame at my parent's feet. They were a product of how they were raised. They did the best they could. They loved each other and we always knew they loved us. They just didn't always know how to be the kind of parents that perhaps I imagined they should have been. Here's the thing, I always wished for a childhood that was different but having been removed from it for so many years now I realize that so many kids had it truly bad. I just had this "fairy tale" thinking, almost "leave it to Beaver" or "Brady Bunch" vision of how parents should relate to their children. Yep, I watched a lot of television growing up and although I could always separate reality from the fictional situations on television, I don't think I ever learned that the relationships between parents and child were often just as far fetched as the story line itself.

I wanted perfect and it was too much to ask of 2 people that were not raised in a perfect or even good situation themselves and therefore could never be expected to know what "perfect" looked or feels like. I will say that for years I did hold resentment for how I thought I was treated. However, it wasn't until the last several years that I was able to realize they did remarkably well considering how they themselves were raised. Both of them had "father noise" and not the petty stuff I used to complain about. They dealt with daily pain emotional and physical at the hands of their parents. I used to think someday I would be able to "forgive" them for stuff from my childhood but now I know the only thing I owe them is my gratitude. I am so thankful that they both found a way to break the cycle of abuse (emotional and physical) and made a conscious decision not to raise us the way they were raised.

It's an evolving cycle really, they wanted better for us and in turn when I raised my children I wanted to do better than my parents. Having said that, I know for a fact that my daughter is already thinking the same thing now that she is expecting her first child. The bottom line is that in every generation we have made strides to improve the relationship with our children that have surpassed the way we were raised. In Bethany's "A Place of Yes", she states that our first order of business should be to "Break the Chain". So I guess I am on my way! I realize it, I am grateful for it and more surprisingly to me, I don't have any negative thoughts about my daughter wanting to learn from lessons I created by my parenting and do better than I was able to do. We are all truly evolving and I have no doubt that when our grand child grows up and has children of her own she will be looking to do the same.

So I guess I'm not so abnormal after all. Families have been going through these very cycles for generations. Each one taking lessons they learned from history and patterns they vowed not to repeat.

Lesson for the day: I learned that I have truly come to grips with my "family childhood noise" and I've even learned that it's a good thing that not only did I break the cycle but appreciate that my parents did as well. Heck I even learned that I am not resentful about my upbringing but actually grateful. I have loving parents who did teach me many "life lessons" but it just took me most of my life to actually find them.

My "childhood noise" has many layers and starting with my upbringing is just the tip of the iceberg. I know there are many more lessons waiting for me in the deepest corner of my closet just waiting to be unveiled.

I'll continue this journey until I find as many as possible and figure out what chains still remain that need to be broken.

Wishing you hope, happiness and light!

Until Next Time,

Laura D.

Chapter 1 - Know thyself

2011-05-28T17:11:29Z

It's tough right? To honestly and truly know yourself. We take so much time in our lives getting to know and care about those around us that sometimes we get lost and forget the people we really are and are truly meant to be. I'm talking specifically about what drives us. Some of us even get so lost that we are unable to move forward because we are constantly waiting for validation that we are in fact good enough and our mere presence in this life makes us worthy.

I think that is the missing part of all my recent discovery. I need to get to know myself. My REAL self. The person that is open to hearing her inner voice that provides that critical direction, is in touch with her inner spirit and can honestly say I love myself. I'm starting to understand that you can't truly love, relate to and appreciate others for who they are until you understand what makes you the person you are and learn to love that person (you) first.

On Oprah Winfrey's last show she talked about how some of us need validation in our lives to tell us that we are good enough. For my entire life I have been "that" person. It's been the elusive validation that drove me to make choices that were not the best and at times caused me self inflicted pain by the mere fact that I didn't feel worthy. I needed to know that my voice was worth listening to because I have something to say and offer others that I feel add value. Not only did I "need" people to love me, I needed them to tell me why (again need for validation I was worthy). I think the pieces are starting to come together for me slowly but surely and I am picking up so many tools to help me get to this place of inner peace. I guess for me I just needed to want to search for it. I needed to know in my spirit that I worth loving and being the best "me" I could be.

I have discovered so many things about myself and perhaps just knowing I need to learn to truly love myself is the most valuable lesson so far. I'm a loving person, always strive to have a servant's heart, want to teach others always and help others to learn to live their lives with purpose and a better understanding of "self". I find myself at peace the most when I feel as if I am inspiring others by coaching them to push beyond the wildest dreams they could ever imagine and learn to take every challenge they come across along the way and turn them into the lessons and part of the journey that help them achieve things in their lives they would never have imagined.

See I understand and believe in my very soul in all that I write. It's my own journey to take the lessons I am learning every day, with every moment of self reflection and start to truly apply them to my own life. I honestly feel as if I am changing. It's a subtle change day to day but I know in my heart it's there, it's really happening.

After I fell apart when my husband deployed the 2nd time, I felt I had no business standing in front of military wives trying to encourage them to keep moving forward while I was riding my own personal roller coaster I just wanted to jump off of. I know now that I can stand in front of those women and take them on the journey with me instead of being tour guide through life, I can walk each step with them. I feel as if I can be humble enough to admit I don't know all the answers, perhaps not only can I encourage others, more than likely I will learn from them as well.

Kind of deep for a Saturday morning but I'm just going with the flow. I write as I "feel". "Writing it out" is healing for me and believe it or not is actually a learning experience for me. As I write I discover my inspiration, find answers I seek and keep myself moving forward. Sometimes it's as short as a few paragraphs and on other days it seems like more of a book but the important part is that it truly "ME". No filters, just my thoughts, my emotions and my discoveries. Sure it's open for the world to read and hey if someone gets even a little bit of knowledge or can relate in some way to my journey and it helps them in even the smallest way, I know it's been worth taking the journey.

Lesson for today: I think we all have to start somewhere and truly take the time for self reflection. Clear out the "noise" in your head that has impacted your life and learn to tune into the voices that guide you and help you to see the person you truly are. Try to make a connection even if only in a small way every day. Learn to ask yourself even the toughest questions about how your life has gone, how you want it to go and more importantly what have you learned along the way that can guide you through your future.

Wishing you hope, happiness and light!

Until Next Time,

Laura D.

My life....The new chapter....

2011-05-27T02:15:42Z

Ok posting again 2 times in one day! I wanted to separate this post so my thoughts are clear and don't get lost by having them in the "catch up" post.

So while I am here with my daughter I have been doing a few things. First of all I picked up a new book by Bethany Frankel called "A Place of Yes". Bethany is a New York Times Best Selling author, starred in The Real Housewives of New York, Bethany Getting Married, and Bethany Ever After. She invented a drink called The Skinny Girl Margarita, has been a chef for celebs and it turns out is a HUGE inspiration and has quite a story.

Bethany came from a childhood that was challenging, lonely and not close to her parents for many reasons I won't go into here. Here's the thing, I could totally relate to her story because she had was she calls "childhood noise" which is a clever way to identify the baggage remaining from her childhood that has caused her to make certain life decisions, some good, some not so good.

So in a nut shell what Bethany suggests is that we all have two things going on in ourselves. We have "noise" which is associated to experiences in our lifetime (good, bad or indifferent) It's like the person who watches her parents argue all the time as a child and when old enough to seek a relationship herself is attracted to the same sort of relationship. Or someone who lived in a household where money was always scarce may grow up with "Money noise" where they are always consumed with ensuring they can take care of themselves. There is also what Bethany refers to as "voices". These are thoughts that push us forward "coming from a place of yes" that help to guide us in our lives. Helping us to break the cycle of previously learned or practiced behavior and or just plain learn from what we lived through and make a decision not to repeat the sins of our childhood.

Bethany's story was inspiring to me because she talks about being able to identify your own "noise" and learn to take away the lessons and leave the pain behind. She refers to this as "take it or leave it". Over the last few months I have been dealing with my own noise. The "Separation noise", "Childhood noise", "Relationship noise", I think I hit all the main issues. I've even had "money noise". What I am starting to understand now is that my "learning from the lesson" mentality is truly a great way to live your life. It's not always easy but I have found that so many people are saying the same thing I have realized only recently, they just call it something else. What I didn't consider was that I could actually look back on those times and decide to keep the part of the "noise" that adds value to my life and just leave the rest behind. To honestly forgive people who have negatively impacted your life, you need to truly let go of the pain and hold the "lesson" close to your heart so that you don't create that "noise" for someone else and can continue to learn from it.

We may get lost at times and let the pain find it's way back in but if we have that lesson close to our hearts it's easier to remember we can let go of the pain and keep on moving. I am still working on connecting with my inner "voice" but if I can clear out some of the "noise" I just might hear it soon!

Lesson for today: You don't have to let go of an entire experience that may have been challenging. You can decide what to hold close to you and what to let go of. This way you let go of what may be causing internal pain and hold on to the pieces that teach you.

Wishing you all hope, happiness and peace!

Until next time,

Laura D.

Keeping the family and the faith going strong

2011-05-27T01:44:42Z

Sorry it's been so long since my last entry. I have to say I feel like I have been on a wild ride for quite some time now. While dealing with my own physical issues with my foot, I had been dealing with almost daily issues with both of my children. The tough part is that with my son the best I can do is give him my words of wisdom by phone when he calls from college. My daughter who lives 5 1/2 hours away is expecting my first grandchild and having complications. So almost 2 weeks ago I found myself packing my bags and making the 5/12 hour drive to spend the last few months with my daughter. She had been put in the hospital because of her complications and although she was thankfully discharged the next evening we are doing all that we can to keep her in bed resting so this baby doesn't come too early.

My husband drove me over and ended up flying home so he could work the next day and remain home to manage the household. It's been 2 weeks since I have seen him and I have to say I think we are both learning what deployment was like for the other person. He is now home alone taking care of the empty house and the dog and I am away on a 2-3 month mission to take care of my daughter and be here when the baby comes.

I am starting to understand that although he had a job to do, he must have had to work very hard to keep from missing home. I miss home a lot (perhaps more because I don't know when I will get back there) but I also feel I need to be here to take care of my daughter. It's such an emotional struggle. On the flip side, my husband has said he is really starting to understand what I went through being left home alone. Going to bed every night with nobody taking up space on the other side and nobody to talk to, share meals with and just hang out with. He has however discovered that he loves to use his new free time to fish for Bass out of our lake. I am happy he has found a way to clear his head at the end of the day and even catch one or two fish!

Regardless of how much this experience is putting us both to a new "test" within our relationship, I can't help but think it will also help both of us understand the other person so much more and that I will finally be able to put my baggage aside and let it go for good. I'm learning it couldn't have been any easier for him to be separated from me than I am feeling right now and vice versa. I am excited to chat with him about all of this when he comes to visit and talk about what lessons we have both learned.

The next few months will be tough and I am trying to wrap my head around how to plan a vow renewal from so far away but I'll get through it.

So I have had some time to think about what's going on in my personal world and I will share more in my next post.

Wishing you happiness and light!

Until next time,

Laura D.

Learning through adversity - the remix....

2011-05-11T23:02:00Z

Well it's been a few days but I have to say I have been thinking about what all of my soul searching has truly led to and I have to say that I think the bottom line is that every single negative encounter or experience has a lesson.

It's so clear to me now. Every recount of every experience, all leading to some sort of lesson. I guess you just need to be clear enough to look for it. Here's the thing, this is not just a lesson for a military spouse. This is a life lesson we can all live by.

Ever since I found myself starting on this journey I have tried to live by the "search for the lesson" philosophy and have even tried to encourage others to do the same. The tough part is being able to look for something good when you are going through something negative. Grief, anger, sadness and fear are all emotions that can come with negative events in our lives and can cloud our ability to see the light (or the lesson) that could possibly come from it. You can't force anyone to feel anything other than what they feel in those moments and sometimes going through those emotions are part of the lesson. The only thing you can do when the opportunity presents itself is to try to encourage them to see what lessons or positive experiences may have occurred as a result. Yes, that includes encouraging myself on a daily basis to look for all of the lessons and positive things in my life that are the direct result from something that happened to me that was negative.

Heck, the mere fact that I fell into depression on the most basic level can be broken down into many good things and more positive lessons learned than I can count. It breaks down like this: because I was dealing with the aftermath caused by my depression, I learned more about myself by my daily reflection. I learned about the type of person I truly want to be, mistakes to avoid in the future and have gotten so much closer to my husband. Heck, I even started to write again and I didn't know if I would ever feel inspired enough to get back to my writing.

Look, the bottom line is that bad things happen to good people every day. Each circumstance provides an opportunity for growth. I have yet to discover one bad thing that happened to me that I can't see something good in. But here's the deal, you can let the bad stuff take over your life and keep you in a dark place, or you can deal with it and then reflect back searching for something positive. I can say first hand that it's not easy to pull yourself out of the darkness but I made the decision after letting it consume me for almost 2 years to finally deal with it and I have to tell you it feels so much better to be able to leave the garbage at the curb and take away only the lessons.

Well date night is early this week so I am keeping it short.

Lesson for the day: Never stop searching for your own lessons. They are always buried somewhere in the darkness. You only have to have the desire to search for the answers.

Wishing you happiness and light!

Until Next Time,

Laura D.

Learning to keep the faith...

2011-05-05T21:35:00Z

It's been a rocky few months as I have been digging into my closet searching for the "old bones" that keep haunting me and seem to be pulling me back down into a state of mind I don't feel in control of.

Having said that, I think that through my searching for answers I have learned many things about myself and more importantly how I can respond better in the future when tough times come my way. I know first hand how easy it is to become completely overwhelmed by your circumstances when you are "in that moment" but I also know that if you can find a way to remember to search for the light of hope that surrounds us all, you can fight your way out of the darkness.

I find myself thinking a lot about how I was feeling when I started this journey. I was feeling like my life was just passing me by and that my efforts to truly "live" were just a memory. Although it has seemed like a long journey and one I know I am still on, I can truly say I am starting to really find myself again. I have peace about so much now. I have reconciled my emotions from my husbands 2nd deployment and took away some valuable lessons.

I learned that my life does have a purpose and that I am strong enough to endure difficult times. I learned I can have discipline in my life (walking and writing every day was the start) and even though I have been writing somewhat less often, I am still learning. In fact, I am more than learning, I am "living" and starting to really enjoy myself again. Even through times of sadness, I find I am able to shake it off and search for the intended lesson.

I can't say enough about how much healing that comes to you when you find that "lesson". It's as if a light bulb goes off over your head and you finally understand and can come to terms with what you experienced.

Just finding my way through these last few months has changed not only my outlook on life but it got me moving with purpose again. Sure I still have physical issues that keep that movement somewhat limited but I no longer see it as a negative. I am using those limitations to learn how to manage daily life on my own terms. I am tuning into what my body is telling me about pain and when to stop so I don't aggravate my situation. It may slow me down on one day but if I pay close attention to the signals, I can easily get back up and move again the next.

Most importantly, I have rediscovered hope. I have been helping a loved one struggling with depression for months now. I have been praying for and talking to him on a daily basis as each situation in life has seemed impossible to manage. Over time, we got him the help he needed and I see now (even though he still struggles at times) that things are getting better. Daily phone calls have turned into a few calls a week and totally negative conversations have developed into some that are quite positive. It's difficult to walk through these challenges with a loved one, especially when you have walked a mile in their shoes and know to some degree how they are feeling. But through all of this, I always had hope and continued to share a message of hope with him. Even though this has been a trying time for both of us, I can honestly say I believe there were many lessons that have come out of it. I learned patience and how to be compassionate when frustrated. I learned I need to trust in God and that if I prayed for help, I needed to have faith that he was going to provide that help. I also learned I needed to remember to always be thankful even for the small wins.

It seems as if I am starting a new chapter in my life and perhaps being prepared for an even bigger battle downstream. However, I know if I keep filling my toolbox up with my lessons, I will come through the other side just fine.

Lesson for the day: I learned I should never loose faith, sometimes that's all we have to keep us going. I also learned that I am getting my "happy" back. One slow step at a time, I am finding my way!

Wishing you Happiness and Light!

Until Next Time,

Laura D.

The day after... 10 years later

2011-05-03T00:15:00Z

It's tough to write about my junk on a day like today so I won't even try. Although perhaps there will be a lesson somewhere.

We were ending our Sunday Dinner when the news came of the brave military mission that ended our search for the most wanted terrorist and the person behind the planning and organization of the events that took place on American soil killing thousands.

I sat with family and friends as we watched the President's speech about how the events unfolded and that Osama was dead. I have to say my immediate reaction was relief but as time went on it turned to a feeling of new uncertainty.

I went to bed last night hoping that this would bring closure to all who have been impacted by the loss of a loved one on 9/11, injured on that fateful day or those who lost our brave service men and women who responded to the call of duty overseas and those that may have come back injured, mentally forever changed, or lost everything like marriages that were unable to survive the deployments, relationships with children that were strained, really the entire scope of sacrifice all because of the events of that fateful day in September.

I woke up this morning and watched the news as I assumed most Americans did to get as many details as possible. I was humbled by all of the stories from people who were first responders on that day, and most importantly the families who lost loved ones on 9/11. Some did say it brought them closure but others said they would most likely not get the closure they need until they leave this earth. One consistent theme I heard as I listened to all of the stories is that while this is certainly a milestone in history and our fight against terrorism, our fight is not over. The truth is we do live in a new scary place and we have to remain vigilant. We can't go back to the way of life we lived before 9/11 where we thought nothing and nobody could reach us so personally as Americans.

As I listened to the President's speech last night, I was taken back to the emotions I felt on that day in September and how comforting it was that as Americans, we came together as a nation. Total strangers on that day would engage in conversation in a caring way and if someone was clearly shaken, there seemed to be a shoulder nearby to commiserate because it impacted us all. Watching the news this morning, it seemed that the news brought people out into the street in unity once again.

I will never forget the feelings I had waking up on September 12, 2001 and as this day after comes to a close I can't help but feel that the events that took place over the last 24 hours were just a milestone on our journey as a nation. In many ways we have taken away lessons from 10 years ago but we are living in a new world now and going back to a more simple time just isn't totally possible. I pray that our country never forgets the events that brought us together and the sacrifice made by so many to keep us safe. I pray that we continue to learn by the events over the last ten years and find a way to raise our children to feel safe while living in an ever changing world.

My thanks goes out to all of the brave Americans and their families who have endured this fight against terrorism and my thoughts and prayers continue to go out to those who have sacrificed on that fateful day continue to struggle to find their way to a new "norm".

Wishing for Peace and Comfort

Until Next Time,

Laura D.

Oh happy day!

2011-04-28T23:03:00Z

Finally I can write that I had a great day! I don't remember the last time I could say that. I know I have had plenty but being able to truly feel that way and appreciate them have not always been the easiest.

So I asked myself why today was so great for me and what I realized that some wonderful things are happening at work that will allow me to get back to feeling more like I am making a huge difference for many people. I guess I did something well in my career and someone noticed. I think it's the part that "someone noticed" that makes me feel so great about my day. Regardless of all that, I am just excited about my future in a way that I haven't been for a long time. I'm moving to an area of work that has always brought me much pleasure and was truly part of what helped to kick start my career. I may not wake up every day eager to do the job I am doing now but I can easily tell you that there was a time I did and it was all about the type of work I was doing at the time. I look forward to those times. I've really missed those times. Back in those days I knew the work I was doing was important but I had the great opportunity to meet and work with some really wonderful people and I went through some true personal growth along the way.

I'm still taking my journey one day (heck sometimes even one hour) at a time but in this moment I can honestly say that I feel great!

With that being said, I would like to think that things may be turning around for me. Over the last few days I have talked about making an effort to start setting up speaking engagements where I can share my stories and listen to the stories of other military spouses. Helping others has always helped to make me feel better and I know my experiences both positive and negative are worth sharing so others may learn from them as I did and to be honest still am.

I'm also thinking more each day about my writing. I've been kicking around the idea of adding to my original "The Soldiers Left Behind" book and including all the stories from the second deployment all the way through the very lessons I am still learning and writing about even today that came from that time in my life.

My husband and I had initial conversations with a local publishing agent about this concept many months ago but we really didn't do too much to follow up with ideas and I certainly wasn't writing like I have been for the past few months. Honestly I just don't think I was ready. We still have work to do in this arena and that includes going through my journals written here and trying to string them together into something that makes sense and would be helpful to others. I feel stronger every day about my mission to share my lessons with others and to tell you the truth I get excited thinking about being in a room with other spouses and being able to encourage them through the sharing of my own trials and revelations that I have made about why must sometimes endure severe challenges to learn valuable life lessons.

Well, I know it's only Thursday but date night with the hubby has been a little off and we are heading out tonight instead of Friday so I need to keep this brief.

Lesson for the day: Today I learned that I should never allow myself to be overcome by despair and that patience does pay off. That "opportunity" you are waiting to meet your "experience" sometimes comes when you least expect it.

Wishing you Happiness and Light!

Until Next Time,

Laura D.

Taking things one day at a time

2011-04-27T22:35:00Z

Wow it's been a really stressful day and I have to say there were moments when I wondered if I could shoulder any more that was being thrown at me. After yesterdays post I realized that I really needed to find a way to filter out the negative impacts in my day and help myself feel better at the same time.

So I started my workout last night here at home and although it didn't "feel" like it was very effective, I did manage to wake up a little sore today so I guess something must be happening in a good way.

After all the chaos I endured during a very long day today, I sat here for a while and contemplated something I said in my blog. I mentioned that I wasn't dealing well with my current state because I was unable to get out onto the track for the serenity I clearly desire. The more about that I thought, the more I realized that I put too much emphasis on that darn track. I decided that I can't let that track determine whether or not I get out and live my life. I mean it did get me motivated every day to leave the house and do things beyond my exercise but I realized today that it can't be the ONLY motivation. So today after all the stress, I decided to get myself back in for some exercise, take a nice shower and head out to run some errands for my daughter's baby shower. That got my motivated and I have to say, once I got out there I very much enjoyed being out and feeling productive.

I also found a little quiet and peace while doing my exercises. I guess the bottom line is that I just need to take it one day, possibly even one hour at a time to get through my stress. It seems like slow progress but I am still learning that I can take something positive away from every day if I "choose" to.

Lesson for the day: I learned that I can take a bad day and turn it around, I only have to make the effort to "want" to turn it around.

Wishing you Happiness and Light!

Until Next Time,

Laura D.

Trying to get through one day at a time

2011-04-26T23:02:00Z

Today I can't write about my experiences, anything I've learned or share much about any personal growth. I seem to be struggling on an old front. Actually it's one that has been impeding my times of reflection for almost 2 months.

I feel trapped in this house and highly unmotivated to reflect because of the ongoing injury to my foot. My slow progress is frustrating on the best of days. I did get some good news from Physical Therapy yesterday though and found I can use one of my exercise machines I have here at home to rehab my foot. I am hoping it helps in the near future but I am running low on patience. I know I need to stay positive so perhaps I should just try to focus my energy on setting goals for my "in house" rehab. As I laid down on the machine today to work on my foot exercises today I couldn't help but think that this was going to be a long journey. Meanwhile, day by day I feel my lack of exercise is causing me to gain even more weight and I just want to look great during our vow renewal. The clock is ticking and I still can't stand on my foot for much more than a few minutes. The bone scan revealed I had a bone in my foot that is bruised. It's supposed to be good news that there is no fracture but it's hard to celebrate that when they tell you the recovery time is the same.

Perhaps it's just been a challenging week and an even more challenging day. I let my husband's dog outside to take care of his business and he didn't want to come back in so I left the door open (like we normally do) thinking he would wonder back in when he was ready, only to realize some time later that he never came back in and was nowhere to be seen. In a panic I called him, drove all around the streets in the neighborhood and called my husband to tell him his dog was missing and it was my fault for loosing track of time and not realizing he never came back in. I had a desperate 20 minutes of panic before returning home to find him at the lake in the back yard. I don't know where he went but was grateful he found his way back. Even with all of that, it certainly jump started my anxiety and any ability to focus went right out the window.

I do have a meeting with the girls from our Family Readiness Group tonight and the potential to feel good about chatting with the team. I hope this will help me to feel good about this day overall. I mean the dog came back and that was a good thing so perhaps things are turning around. However, I just want to get out and exercise and be like the normal person living their lives again really soon. I just need to find a way.

Lesson for today: I learned I need to find a way to get through my physical issues without letting them impact my ability to learn more about myself and reflect back on challenges from my past so I can truly move on and grow from the experience.

Wishing you Happiness and Light!

Until next time,

Laura D.

Still working it out....

2011-04-22T22:40:00Z

Wow it's a beautiful day in the Pacific North West today! The sun is shining on the lake and it's almost hard to focus because it's been so long since it's been this nice.

But focus I will.... So let's see I think when I left off last time I was trying to figure out how my old deployment baggage triggered my even older childhood baggage. Boy when I said I was "diggin up bones" I really mean it!

So I guess I have to go way back to the feeling of inadequacy I had when I was a child and figure out how I learned to deal with it way back before I even met my husband and then perhaps work my forward.

So let's see, I married really young so I wouldn't have to face the real world and when I realized I married this wonderful man for all the wrong reasons and knew he deserved better. That forced me to figure out a way to survive. I knew I could live with my parents for a little while but it could only be a "short" time. After all, I had a baby with me and had bills I needed to worry about. How was I going to feed her and put clothes on her back? I couldn't ask my parents so I really think it boiled down to the need to support my daughter that gave me the push. I mean lets face it, there is nothing more ferocious than a mother taking care of her young. So if she was the inspiration, I guess I can easily see how I would push my own issues of insecurity aside and give life a try.

I remember such a great feeling after getting my first job and my first paycheck! I felt the wonders of independence and I guess it was so strong that I convinced myself I could survive on my own and make a life for myself and my daughter. I knew it would be modest but at least I could take care of my family. Don't get me wrong, the first few days of separation as I started my new job and the fear of the job itself were so scary for me but I got up every day and went because of my baby.

I don't like to think much about what my life would have been like had I not set off on my own but I know some really wonderful things would not have happened to me and around me if I hadn't and it feels good to write that my precious daughter was my inspiration.

However, with good seems to always come some sort of challenge and I think each challenge I faced made me a better person. At the end of the day, I'm pretty happy that my path has lead me to where I am today. I just need to find that inspiration that drives me back outside of my comfort zone. I need to find a way to let go of the need for validation for my accomplishments and just know deep inside that I am worthy. In my mind I know I shouldn't need others to tell me. In fact I believe that the best of men or women, are great not because of what they say about themselves. Part of what makes them great is that they don't have to tell people how great they are, people just notice and eagerly show their appreciation and/or praise. I also know that with the great man I am married to, that's the part he is the most uncomfortable with. He feels that no matter how good he is at what he does, it's just something he is supposed to do well and as long as he knows he did his best, he is happy about it.

So I know where I am today on this journey and I know where I want to be in the future but my challenge is to find a way to take the journey. I'll start with baby steps yet again. I can't stay angry at a world that is in the past. I have forgiven and have total understanding why people in my life have done or acted a certain way. I believe that if I can truly forgive and I feel that I have, I can ultimate forget and let go.

Well, It's Friday night and I'm hanging with the hubby soon so keeping it brief today.

Wishing you Happiness and Light!

Until Next Time,

Laura d.

How does it all apply to the big picture?

2011-04-21T21:42:00Z

I've been writing for several weeks now. I've made some huge progress in some areas while barely touching the surface in others. It seems at least for me that in the process of trying to figure out why I struggled so much during my husband's second major deployment, I have sometimes found that my past was part of the root cause.

At times I know my writings appear and feel to me to be quite scattered but the truth is I go through a very organic process as I am reflecting on my life over the last few years and sometimes it is specifically about what happened during that time period and others it's because of something I have experienced in my past.

Trying to keep all of this in perspective has been challenging in the best moments...

It's easy to face the big issues that are specific to why I may have handled myself during certain circumstances over the last few years. Why I have been resentful of the military, why I felt so alone, stuff like that. What I struggle now is why I felt and still feel so insecure about certain elements in my life.

I wrote a lot about my need for validation. Thinking back on those writings, I know it's true but if I were "truly" ok with everything in my life, it seems I wouldn't require such validation. Worse yet, I have looked to past events when I didn't get validation for my own accomplishments and tried to hold people accountable to not giving it to me when nobody can truly go back and fix it now. It's all a part of my history now and I'm sure part of me striving all of these years to prove myself (seeking such validation) has helped me to grow in some ways. Perhaps the struggle I need to take on next is working to re-establish my own self worth. I know I am here on this planet for a reason that is greater than my own understanding. Although looking back on the past gives an understanding of where it all comes from or where it started, I can't let it define who I will be in the future.

I'm trying to put all my lesson together and figure out how I can ultimately use them to help me in the future if I am ever put in a situation where I have to deal with another deployment or any major life changes. Sometimes wanting to feel better just isn't enough though and I am thinking I need to start "acting" on those lessons by putting them into practice on a daily basis. Whether it be learning how to deal with bad news, new opportunities to support my husband's military career or helping to encourage my children and others around me.

I guess as long as I keep writing, I am still trying and as long as keep trying, I am making progress no matter how slow and painful it may be.

Lesson for today: Our reactions to certain situations may not be driven by that particular issue and may be caused by something we need to understand from our past in order to move forward.

Wishing you Happiness and Light!

Until Next time,

Laura D.